Why is being selfish is the most selfless thing you can do? A counter intuitive way to give to others.
Now did my previous post really have you triggered? if I have, then GOOD! If I haven’t, maybe you understand where I am going with this? Either way.. read on…
So you are probably thinking.. Wassim WTF are you on about?
Well here is the reality.
I have always been intrigued by the way the human mind works. So I observe.
Side note: next time you see me staring into oblivion.. I am not staring someone down in the room. I am observing human interaction.
One thing I have observed over the years. The people that complain about giving their all to others, and putting others needs before them. Always saying yes. Dropping everything for anyone as soon as they request it. Putting their feelings and thoughts aside in the fear of hurting someone else if they speak out. Does this sound familiar? Do you know someone like that?
This describes one of the most selfless people you know. BUT at the end of the day, they are not happy. Maybe they are overweight, stuck in a dead end job because they keep getting passed over or simply dissatisfied but they don’t know why? They are in a crappy relationship, where they are not valued. Are they always grumpy?, short tempered and snappy to those they are closest to? Or worst of all. Or worst of all (in my opinion) their closest family/friends have lost respect for them.
If you know someone like that… stop and think about them, why are they like that? They give and give and give but aren’t happy!
Well.. the simple answer is they always give to others as a guise to hide their own insecurities or lack of self-belief or whatever it is that they are truly hiding. They use that they are too busy giving to exercise, get a better job, fix their relationship blah blah blah…
This is THE EXACT reason why we all should be selfish.
I believe that being selfish will allow us to be happier. How? You may ask….
Well think about it.
By being selfish what are you doing?
- Looking after your mental health – You are constantly feeding your mind information that will better your mental health. You are always looking for evidence as how magnificent you are. You are safeguarding yourself!
- You are in control of your emotions – they don’t control you. Being selfish will allow you to take control of your emotions. A highly emotionally developed person controls their emotions and looks for reasons within to be happy not from somewhere external.
- Physically healthy – Being selfish means you look after your physical health too. You are hitting the gym 3-4 a week, or taking that yoga class, running after your child in the park or the dog… what ever it is that works for you. You are doing it!
Now compare the Selfless person I described Vs the Selfish person I described. Who do you want be around?
And that is why being selfish is the most selfless act you can do.
When we look after our self, we can be the best version of our self and hence give the best version of us to those we love.
I Don’t know about you.. My wife and Kids respond much better to me when I am happy Vs when I am grumpy and annoyed.
Try this for yourself, see how people respond to you when you are happy and when you are grumpy
Stay tuned in part 3 of this thought…. I will share with you how to be selfish without feeling guilty!